My Life

Yin and Yang

For Mother’s Day, I got breakfast in bed, the hubs checked B in and out of Sunday school at church for me, a drive in the country and 2 kittens! :o) We’d been going back and forth about pets for a year. He claims to be a dog person and I am a cat person. However, we have had 2 cats in the past, and they loved the hubs more than me! He is a closet cat whisperer. ;o) We rent, so permission was needed from the owner to get any pet. The hubs told me he had received permission from the owner six months ago to get a dog but I was not OK with it. One of the many things I love about my marriage – we do NOT make big decision, like getting a pet, without the OK from the other. So, we had no dog but no cat, either. Unbeknownst to me, the hubs contacted the landlord in late April and asked her if we could have a cat; she said yes.

After church on Mother’s Day, the hubs told me we were going for a drive in the country. We ended up at our county’s animal shelter. I was so excited when he told me, “We are here to just LOOK. LOOK!” This man has been my soulmate for 16 years; if he drove us here, we were getting a cat. It was 11:10am, and although their website stated they were open from 10am – 4pm, their 10am hours were administrative; they did not open for adoptions until 12pm. I was worried the hubs would take it as a sign and chuck the cat idea altogether. Luckily he didn’t.

There is a farmer’s market further down the road that we frequented last Summer, so the hubs suggested we go piddle around there while we wait for the animal shelter to open for adoptions. As we perused their fruits and vegetable and savored the smells of their homemade breads and pies, I remembered a visit from last year. While we checked out the previous July, one of the owner’s daughters came up to us with a kitten. “Would you like to take a kitten home with you? They’re free,” she said. My face lit up, but the hubs informed her that we rented and were unable to have pets. I quickly reminded the hubs of our last visit as it was our turn to check out. As the gentleman was just about done ringing up our purchases the hubs said, “You know? The last time we were here, you had some kittens to give away…” A woman behind the checkout man stepped up immediately and said, “KITTENS?! Do you want a kitten? Some kittens? Our barn cat has had another litter and they just happen to be ready to leave the mother right now! After you pay for your things, I’ll ride in your car out to my farm and you can choose whichever one you want!”

True to her word, she followed us out to the car, climbed in and proceeded to direct the hubs to her farm. We got out, walked to the barn and the owner ushered us in quickly, so as to not let the kittens out. They were so beautiful! There was 5 in the litter and they were 7 weeks old. The owner had started them on cat food 1 week prior, so they were weened from their mother’s milk. Three kitties were grey and black tabbies like their mom. The sole girl and one boy were what I call tuxedo looking – all black except for white paws and a white diamond on their chests.

I really wanted a girl. Our 2 previous cats were girls and very loving. My favorite cat that I owned, Emmie, was a grey and black tabby. I was so disappointed that all the tabbies in this litter were boys. The owner put the only girl cat in my arms and she let me pet her. Paul picked up one of the tabby boys and placed it in B’s arms. Although the cats were not used to being held at all, they were calm while in our arms. I was torn and the hubs could tell. He said to the owner, “I’m worried that a cat who has never been inside a home and is not used to being held by humans may not adjust well to our situation.” My heart sank and I refused to look up at him and show my tears. I just continued to nuzzle the boy in my arms. “I was wondering,” the hubs continued, “if taking two cats, instead of one, would make the transition easier on them…” My head shot up, and I dared to be hopeful as I looked at him. He was trying so hard not to smile at me! The owner replied, jokingly, “I actually think it would best if all 5 of them stayed together.” We all laughed at that. “But you are right. Two is better for them than just one. In fact, if you were to adopt from the county shelter, you’d be hard pressed to just get one. They want animals to be adopted in pairs so they have company.” I happily left with the girl in my arms while B was just as proud to be carrying a boy!

We tried to come up with names on the way home – Luke and Leia; Sonny and Cher; Donny and Marie – but none seemed to fit. We got them home, let them loose and they promptly disappeared! I do not know how the 3 of us had no clue where the 2 cats were, but that’s what happened. We decided to give them some space to adjust to the new environment. After a few hours, however, we became concerned. We started to search and found them under a sofa. The hubs had lifted it up, and they were curled up, butt to face, asleep. B and I said at the same time, “Awe! They look like the Yin Yang symbol.” *Light Bulb Moment* We all exchanged looks and yelled, “That’s what we should call them!”

They were perfect names for our pets! The hubs and I have alway felt that we are Yin and Yang to each other. We never saw differences when we got together; we realized that we complemented each other perfectly. His strengths were my weaknesses and vice versa. So, Yin is the boy and Yang is the girl. I decided on that to make it easier for ME to remember which is which. I am a Grey’s Anatomy fan and Christina Yang is one of the characters. That is why I named the female cat, Yang.

But they have proved to be perfect names for the cats, as well. They are complete opposites, or complements. Yin is very trusting and loving. Yang is defensive, protective of Yin and independent. Yang will rub up against you and purr, but as soon as you start to pet her she takes off. Yin wants to be held and petted all the time. Neither one wants to use the litter box alone, however. One stands outside and mews for the other and they both go in together. It’s getting mighty tight in there; don’t know how long this can go on.

Yin was on the sink in the master bath (I was getting ready to clean it, that is why I let him up there) and looking in the mirror. He kept pacing back and forth, trying to get into the “other room” but “another cat” would NOT get out of his way! He was so annoyed! LOL!

The first time I pulled the vacuum cleaner out of the closet was hilarious. They looked up. Heads turned to the side. Eyes widened. Pupils dilated. “Hmm! What’s that? Let’s go see.” They ran up to it and started sniffing. After sniffing around it they looked up, up, all the way to the top. “Wow! That’s big! And so pretty – blue and purple! I want to climb it!” Before they could climb, I started unraveling the cord and they were distracted. “Game! Get the cord, get the cord, get the cord… I got it, no wait, another piece! I got my front paws around this piece and my back legs around that piece and I’m gonna bite THIS piece….” Before turning it on, I warned them. “I think you may want to step back now. It makes a loud noise!” I nudged them with my foot. “Go on, now, shoo.” “Are you kidding me?! Not with all this heavenly cord to attack!” “OK, here we go!” I turned on the vacuum cleaner and they took off like bats out of Hell! They poked their heads around a safe corner in another room and glared at the vacuum cleaner with a mixture of fear and defiance in their eyes. When I turned it off to move a piece of furniture or pick up something off the floor, they both attacked the vacuum with all their might. “Yeah! You’re not so scary now, are ya, Big Blue! Not when mommy ain’t holding your hand! You’re not that tough. We can take you!” WHRRRRRR, went the vacuum, as I turned it back on, and those cats ran so fast you’d think Scotty beamed them out of the room! They are so funny!

They can be frustrating, too, though. As they were running all over the place, reeking toddler-like havoc this evening, I was getting annoyed. Then I had a Divine intervention. I have those from time to time. Usually they save my life in traffic or prevent me from putting my foot in my mouth. This one whispered to me, “They are preparing you for the real thing.” What was that? What does that mean? I’ve learned to be still in moments like these, listen and this is what I got from it – we are almost 9 years older than we were when we had B. And we had B later in life than most people. Having another child or baby is going to be so much harder on us. But we want one; have prayed for one. Dealing with these kittens and kitten-proofing the house, may be training, preparation for the real thing. Now, I am NOT claiming to be Mary’s cousin, Elizabeth here! And another child to love may never pan out. But I heard something, and I will be open to receive. If there is one thing I have learned in my 39 years it’s this – God doesn’t always answer your prayers the way you want Him to, but he does answer you.

Toilet Paper

There is a recent commercial out there with “real” moms talking the “truth” about toilet paper; talking about things that “no one else has talked about before”. <:-O Whatever. There is only so far a commercial is going to go when it talks about going to the bathroom b/c they would be worried about “controversy” or offending “family values” with potty talk. But I could care less, so I am going to talk about it b/c I am having a problem finding a toilet paper that meets all MY needs. You may be, too, but may not feel comfortable bringing it up in polite conversation. Y’all know I have no problem talking about just about anything, so here goes…

I have been trying out lots of toilet papers and have yet to find one that meets my needs up front as well as out back. There. I said it. When I find a paper that is strong enough to hold together and take care of business out back, it is too rough and chafes me up front. The papers that are soft and gentle enough on my front fall apart or shred when I need to take care of business out back.

You know what, it just dawned on me that although I have struggled with this issue and have been trying out all different brands, I have not once brought up this issue with my guys. After all, I am the only female living with 2 males. And since they only use TP for out back, I should consult them and see which one(s) they like best. As a side note, I am not pleased they only use TP out back. I think they should use at least ONE square up front to dab, but the hubs has passed on his habit to B of just flicking the penis like Indiana Jones’ whip to “shake off the excess”. *eye rolling*

I am starting to think that I am placing too much importance on the performance of a paper up front. I mean, to avoid any kind of chafing up front, I should just be dabbing, not wiping, right? That way, as long as I select a TP that gets the job done out back, I’ll be happy up front! *Oprah-light-bulb-moment* or, as the hubs CONSTANTLY says to me, “Talk your way through it, babe, talk your way through it…”

I have held my tongue long enough, and cannot keep quiet anymore!

For AT LEAST 3 years, I have been pissed off by something, but have held my tongue. I was worried about insulting or pissing off my friends. Regardless of the current “Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you.” attitude that is so prevalent in, at least, my area, I have chosen to be above it. But no more! A story on the local news this evening changed my mind. Some people, in my opinion, clearly do not have the correct perspective going on and are QUITE vocal about it. Therefore, I should no longer refrain from voicing my opinion. And here it is:

I am so GOSH-DARN FED UP with the people who have been inundating me with flyers/literature/guilt/commercials/calls-to-action to save the pets in the USA! We have CHILDREN – HUMAN BEINGS – in this country who are STARVING, HOMELESS, PARENTLESS. But I don’t see a SINGLE commercial on TV, nor flyer pasted to the mirror in my gym, about THEM! Oh, sure, there are plenty of commercials to save the children in 3rd world countries, but what about our own?! I do, however, see PLENTY of commercials and posted flyers about the abused and abandoned pets in our own country since the recession began. I am not a cold-hearted person; I am the exact opposite. I feel for and cry over all creatures…..OK…..maybe not ALL creatures….I don’t like the ants in my house during the Summer. And I can’t even LOOK at a picture of a snake without having nightmares.

I do not wish harm on the abandoned animals of this country who have been victims of families who can no longer afford to feed and take care of them. However, I will worry about and take action on the plight of the pets in this country AFTER ever child in America has a home and a full belly! Why do animals receive more sympathy, press and actions then children?! WTF is wrong with us?!

What set me off today was a story on the local news about a new smart phone application. It’s a game about dog fighting and it has the animal rights activists all up in arms. Where are the PEOPLE activists all up in arms about the video games whose objective is to carjack people, rape women or kill public servants?!?! All they have to do is provide a rating on their games to warn buyers about their content but we have to pull dog fighting games off the shelves?! GIVE ME A BREAK!! There is SERIOUSLY something wrong with us!!

The Morning After

We had originally planned to come home at Super Bowl half-time to get B in bed and because the hubs gets up for work at 4am. But the half-time show was actually good this year, IMO, so we stayed for that and then decided to stay for the whole game. B was in bed by 10:30pm and awake at 6am this morning. By 7:04am the tears had started and he hadn’t even got out of bed yet! He got out of bed at 7:30am and came downstairs to fix his own breakfast. I love that he has finally taken the initiative to do more things for himself this past year but they don’t always work out.

B does not like cold beverages. He prefers his water and milk to be at room temperature. Evidently he poured himself a bowl of cereal, poured the rest of the gallon of milk into a glass pitcher and stuck it in the microwave to “warm”. He came back upstairs and told me, “Mama? I have a problem. I tried to heat up my milk but I think I did it too long because it’s really hot and it sticks to my finger.” Yup. The milk had been heated so much it had thickened! LOL! Luckily we had another gallon out in the garage.

We have an old wipe-off board on the fridge that B likes to draw on. The frame broke yesterday and instead of throwing the whole thing out, the hubs decides to throw out the frame and let B have the thin sheet to color on. I want the record to show that I told the hubs to throw it all out. After breakfast, B was drawing on this sheet that I just assumed was vinyl. Turns out it’s a sheet of thin METAL. “Mama? I think there is something wrong with my finger.” I go over and see he has sliced his finger with this metal and it is bleeding! *sigh* I threw that damn thing away, to the protests and tears of my son, and administered First Aid.

Not only am I mad at the hubs for keeping that metal (he handled the broken pieces yesterday so he knew it was metal) I decided to also get mad at him because I am administering First Aid. ;o) We each have duties to perform as parents and I am the one who assigned them based on my comfort level. :o) He handles all First Aid (injuries, bleeding, bones, etc.) and vomiting. I handle colds, the flu and asthma related illnesses. I go up my tree when B bleeds and the hubs goes up his tree when B can’t breathe. That’s the deal! But my tree was not an option this morning because I was the only one here to deal with the husband-kept metal weapon!

B woke up wheezy this morning so I gave him a nebulizer treatment around 9am. Usually the medication makes him hyper, but by 10:15am, he asked if he could lie down in his bed and play his DS b/c he was tired. He was off his game today from the start and who am I to deny a child who wants to lie down? Even if it is with a gaming system.

At work this afternoon, I had the same argument with the same kids I have every week. I am so tired of it. I don’t care how old you are, nor what happens in your parents’ cars; if you are not tall enough to prevent the shoulder strap of the seat belt from laying across your neck, you need to be in a booster seat! When I drive you around, you are the responsibility of my employer and me. We take that responsibility seriously and I’m not starting the car unless you follow my rules. Phew. I needed to get that out. Thanks!

I went back to kickboxing class this evening and I was smart this time – I wore a Poise pad! I jumped those jacks like nobody’s business and without a care in the world. :o) When I headed out for class, B was getting another nebulizer treatment because he was still wheezy. When I got home the hubs informed why it was that B asked to lie down this morning. He’s getting the shakes and feeling sick after the treatment and he does not like it. “OK,” I said, “We won’t give it to him anymore.” The hubs did not like that. And they say women are hard to please…

Kickboxing Class

The karate studio where I work has kickboxing class for adults twice a week and, as an employee, I can go for free. I have been thinking about going for quite some time, since I keep getting bigger and bigger, but I haven’t done it. I was afraid to go. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of what the other people in the class would think of me, afraid that I would not be able to keep up, afraid that any exercise whatsoever would make me barf in public, afraid of not having any appropriate clothes that fit me to wear…you name it, I tortured myself with it and just sat at home.

Thankfully, a friend and co-worker of mine started going to the class with her husband last month. I kept saying that I would show up at class one night since I actually knew someone there, but I never did. Finally, last week, I got up the nerve to tell my friend that I needed her to drag me to that class. And, being the great friend that she is, she complied. She was willing to be the “bad guy” for me b/c she understood that I needed that to get over the initial hurdle.

Last night was the class that she was going to drag me to. And of course, all day long, I did not feel well. I wanted to tell her that I could not go b/c I was not feeling well, but I had a “coming to Jesus” talk with myself. I am so good at having those talks with other people, you know? I can fix everybody’s problems but my own! Anywho, I had that talk with myself and realized that every single time I decided I was going to start an exercise routine that day, I ended up not feeling well. I mysteriously got my period, or I had an upset stomach and had to stay near the bathroom or I ate nothing but beans and broccoli the 24 hours before and could not be around others for gaseous reasons, etc. It was always SOMETHING. But I was NOT going to allow myself to make another excuse. I was GOING to this class, even if I barfed or farted all over the place!

And you know what? I had a great time! I am SO GLAD they drove over to my house and took me to the class. I am proud of myself for exercising and everyone can use a little extra pride in themselves, don’t you think? I did not have gloves and the bin of extra gloves was empty from other attendees in the class. Pshaw, I thought. I’m not going to need gloves on the 1st class anyway. I am so out of shape, I could not hit that bag with any amount of strength requiring gloves anyway, right?

We started out doing a “warm-up”. MY idea of warming up is long stretches, walking in place, stepping side-to-side, maybe some lunges… The teacher’s idea of warming-up was jumping jacks. OK, I told myself, you can do this. How many could we do in a warm-up? 25? He did not count; he timed. As many as you could do in 1 minute increments, and there was more than one, 1 minute increment, people! My boobs were jumping, my backfat was jumping, but, worst of all, my incontinence-due-to-vaginal-birth was saying, “What the HELL are you doing? I’m about to make a mess up in here! You know the deal – no trampolines, no bed jumping and NO jumping jacks.” I don’t know how I hung on, but I jumped jacks while kegelling the heck out of my insides. I actually made it to 100 jumping jacks before I had to run off into the bathroom. Once again, proud of me! Never thought I could do 1 jumping jack, let alone 100. I want my 8th Grade Presidential Fitness Award renewed. ;o)

My friend and I shared a bag for our punches and kicks. After a few rounds of jabs, hooks and uppercuts, I had bleeding knuckles on both hands. I was HOOKED! The sight and smell of blood was like adrenaline to me, for some reason. I felt so badass, so capable! At one point, we were to take turns punching and kicking the bags with our partners, and the one who was not hitting the bag was to yell encouragement at the one hitting the bag. She and I were cracking up over this. She yelled at me once, “Come on! Take your frustration out on that bag! I know you’re picturing your husband!” I immediately thought, I’m not frustrated at him for anything. Then something hit me and I became a driven women. I ATTACKED that bag! I yelled to my partner, “I’m fighting off the hubs to keep him from changing the temperature on the thermostat at home!” We had a good laugh over that one.

That was all I really needed – to get over the 1st hurdle of just going. Even at my age, it’s hard to reach out and ask for help. But I’m so glad I did!

Blogging Neglect

I have been so bad about blogging. I used to keep a blog regularly – several times a week; sometimes several times a day if I had a lot on my mind. But for the past 2 years, I have Facebook’d instead. I probably have the longest FB statuses of any of my friends, b/c I am trying to put a blog post in that limited character space. But I really am a blogger at heart. Even though I don’t practice Catholicism anymore, I think I should give up FB for Lent this year. Maybe that would get me in the habit of blogging again. Although, I would still want to get on FB and check out what everyone ELSE had to say, even if I chose not to say anything. The main reason I wanted to blog is that my “mommy brain” has continued for the past 8+ years and I need to record the cute/funny/precious things my son says and does before I forget them. And so I can blackmail him with them later in his life. ;o)

If I think about it, I can’t solely blame FB for my lack of blogging. There are 2 other reasons. The 1st one is that I used to have a private blog. My blog was only accessible to a select group of friends whom I trusted and knew I could vent to and talk to about anything and anyone. Something happened to cause me to cut access to all the viewers of my private blog. I will not go into the reason here b/c this blog is now public and readable by anyone, including the one who caused me to cut access to the private blog. But once I no longer had an “audience”, I lost interest in blogging. Isn’t that weird or, conceited? Without someone to entertain, I lost all interest in jotting my thoughts, experiences and stories down. I thought it was quite the insight into how I tick…or maybe a better way to say it is how I felt validated…

The 2nd reason for my lack of blogging…I…am ashamed to say I cannot remember! DAMN! See what I mean about mommy brain continuing FAR BEYOND the norm?! I, honestly, think it is the Alzheimer’s that runs in my family. The hubs does not like me to say that b/c I can imagine how hard it would be for him to think about me going through that. But I really think it is. When I was a young child, I watched my grandfather go through it, rather quickly, while my mom assisted in his care. My mom is now taking care of one of her older sisters going through it. For over 20 years, I feared the day that I would discover my mom had it. The hubs can tell you he’s known of this fear since he met me. Now I realize that, no matter how hard that would be for me to handle, I could do it and I would do it. Just like Malynn took care of Shelby in the hospital in Steel Magnolias. (BTW, I believe Steel Magnolias is to women what The Godfather is to men.) What scares me more now, is my husband and child having to endure ME going through it.

Wow! I finally decide to start blogging again and it is such a downer! I will mos def lose whatever readers I may have had! Well, at least if no one reads this, it will kinda be like a private blog and I can talk about anything and anyone again… ;o)

You know what?! I think I have actually been talking about the 2nd reason I stopped blogging – I can’t remember anything I want to say when I actually have the time to sit down and blog. Phew! Maybe this homeschooling thing has been able to exercise my brain enough to remember more. :o)

1 14 15
%d bloggers like this: