It was March 29, 1995 and my 3rd day at a new job – a teller at a credit union. The 1st two days were spent in Human Resources-led orientation with all the other new hires. I spent that 3rd morning being introduced to the other tellers, going over things with my head teller and reading from my manual. After lunch, I was taken out to the line to get to know my way around their teller stations.
As I looked out at the branch lobby from behind the line, a man caught my eye. He had a big presence. He wore an olive-colored suit that set off his completion beautifully. I’d never seen a man look sexier in a double-breasted suit! Everything was suddenly happening in slow motion and Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” was playing in my head. He walked, no strutted, across the lobby with confidence, saying “Hi” or pointing with his hand in the shape of a gun and winking at everyone in the lobby. I’m pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. After making the rounds in the lobby, he went down the entire teller line, saying hello to all the ladies. I was in the last station with my trainer and when she introduced him to me, I don’t think I even said a word; just stared. As he walked away, there was only one thing on my mind: “I. MUST. HAVE. THAT.”
Yup, it was lust at first sight! Which was a good thing. I’d falling in love and gotten my heart broken twice in the previous 3 years and I was definitely not looking to fall in love a 3rd time. For the next two months, I threw myself at this man. I’d never chased a man before and I did it shamelessly at work. He was nice and friendly to me, but he was like that with everyone. I dropped all kinds of hints that I was interested and then stopped hinting and went full on obvious, but he never asked me out! So I decided I was going to ask him out. I needed to know if he was interested in me because if he was, let’s get it on and if he wasn’t, I was movin’ on!
One May Saturday morning, I was the 1st teller to get my drawer and head out to the line to get ready for the branch to open. Here comes Mr. Double-Breasted Suit walking down the teller line like he does at the beginning of every shift to say hello to all the tellers, but I was the only one out. I thought, “This is my chance!” He came to my station and started to open his mouth to say something but I cut him off. “Would you be interested in going out with me,” I asked. He was taken aback. “As a matter of fact, I was coming over here to ask you out,” he said. I literally rolled my eyes, crossed my arms and made the duck face at him. “Yeah, right,” I said, laced with sarcasm. “No, seriously! I was! You can ask the guys! I just told them I was coming over here to ask you out.” I went back to counting bills and said, “Whatever. If you’re not interested, just say so. It was a simple yes or no question. I don’t need to be lied to to spare my feelings. I’m a big girl.” Just then, the door to the back opened and 2 other tellers came out to the line. He hissed at me, “This isn’t over,” said good morning to the other ladies and went back to his office in the lobby.
My face flamed. I was angry, but at him or myself, I wasn’t quite sure. I was not going to cry at work so I held tight to that anger. I kept going back and forth: kicking myself for being such a bitch to him and then telling myself he’s a liar and not worth it. That was the longest shift of my life! Like every weekend, it was busy in the branch, so I concentrated on serving my members and not scanning the lobby for him. About an hour into my shift, I rang my bell to let the next member know I was available and they were slow to walk down to my end. So I chose to sweep the lobby. Big mistake! He was out there, already looking at me, and our eyes locked. The emotions that quickly flashed over our faces reminds me of the end of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when Jeanie almost hits Ferris with the car and their eyes lock – surprise –> eye’s squinting in anger –> wicked smile –> game on.
I’d never had so much electricity, so much sexual tension going through my body before. My members kept looking at me funny, probably wondering if I was tipsy or psycho. The rest of that shift, our eye kept meeting across the branch and my face would get hot just looking at that sexy specimen of a man. His smile spoke volumes to me and I kept singing in my head, “I’m going to get LUUUUU-CKYYYYY!”
Our first date was in the afternoon. He took me to J. Paul’s in Georgetown for a late lunch. I’m a shy person (I know, asking him out even surprised me!) and have a hard time making conversation with people that I don’t know very well. Add in the sexual tension and I just knew I was going to blow this! But he was one of those people who could and would talk to everyone, so I didn’t have to feel pressure. He was interested in learning about me, he talked about himself and he was comfortable with silence. That made me comfortable, as well. He was a perfect gentleman: held doors, pulled out my chair, helped me on with my sweater when I got chilly. He was actually too much of a gentleman.
When he drove me home, he immediately got out of the car, walked around to open my door and helped me out. We walked towards the walkway to my front door and I was all giddy inside, anticipating our first kiss. I was concentrating on it so much that I didn’t realize he was no longer with me until I got to the front door! I turned around, confused, and found him at the bottom of the walkway. He had stayed there, choosing not to walk me to the front door. He smiled at me, thanked me for going out with him, told me he’d had a great time and that he’d see me at work. I just stared at him with a confused look on my face. He didn’t get in his car, though, so I had hope.
“Don’t you want to come up here and tell me goodbye,” I asked. “I just want to make sure you get inside safely and then I’ll go. I have some things to take care of,” he replied. I walked inside and closed the door behind me, crushed. Everyone knows what happens at the front door and if he didn’t want to walk me up to the door than he didn’t want to kiss me. Either he wasn’t interested in me or he was interested in a relationship. I shuddered and hoped it was the former and not the latter. I did not want a relationship; I just wanted to get naked with this man!
My attitude towards him changed immediately; my walls went up. I wasn’t going to invest my time in someone who wasn’t interested nor in someone who wanted a relationship. I’d experienced serious hurt in my life and I wasn’t going to let anyone in again. If he wasn’t interested in a casual, sexual relationship, then I wasn’t interested in him. However, he asked me out again, for an evening date, and I said yes. What the heck was wrong with me?! What was it about him that made me throw my backbone out the window and say “yes”? Well, I’ll go, but I won’t enjoy myself, I thought.
He was the perfect gentleman again and kept the conversation going, ignoring or being amused at, my barbs, short answers and “Mm-hmm”s. I was grudgingly impressed that he didn’t give back all that I was dishing out to him, and the fact that he didn’t cut the evening short. Maybe he was interested in me but didn’t want to appear too eager and kiss me on the first date? I wanted to hope but squashed that idea. We got to the end of the walkway and I proceeded up, alone. *SIGH* He thanked me for the evening, said he had a good time, yada, yada, yada…whatever; I just went inside.
I was done with him. I tried to just be cordial with him at work and succeeded in being cold most of the time, but that man was so damn good at disarming me! Sometimes he’d make me smile and feel good and then when he walked away I’d get so mad at myself. Regardless of the fact thta I just kept getting meaner to him, he was calm, attentive and charming. I figured I was challenge to him. He wasn’t interested when I was but now that I wasn’t interested in him, he saw me as a conquest. Fat chance!
Then I found out the real reason he hadn’t kissed me, and I didn’t even hear it from him. I had to hear it from a co-worker.
To be continued…