Trying not to care about what others think

It sounds silly to worry about what others think about me when I’m a supposed grown women in her 40s.  But I still did when I turned 40 and I’ve been working on remedying that. Well, this month I purposefully did things in public that I normally would not do, just to get past worrying about other’s thoughts of me.

1. I pooped in a public restroom.  I’ve done this plenty of times in my life because, when you gotta go, you gotta go!  However, I would go to the restroom in the basement of where I worked because hardly anyone used that one.  Or I’d sit in a stall and wait for the bathroom to clear out until I pushed or held it if someone walked in while I was doing my business. This month, I went in a bathroom and no one else was in there.  I started doing my business and another lady walked in and got into the stall right next to me.  I took deep breaths and with each exhale, let out the embarrassment and worry about what she thought.   Then I just kept on.  It worked!

2. I was in a library while B was at camp.  I sat at a table and put my purse on the seat next to me.  After about 20 minutes, a lady came and sat down in the chair on the other side of my purse.  Usually I would leave my purse there and not move it but I’d worry that the person might reach in and take something b/c it was unzipped.  I’d worry they might want the chair to put their stuff on but can’t because my stuff’s occupying the chair.  And I’d worry they will be mad at me if I move it because they’ll assume I don’t trust them (which is kinda true!).  So I’ve always just sat there, not moving it for fear of hurting the feelings of a complete stranger!  However I wasn’t able to read my book b/c my attention was on my bag the whole time.  So, after 10 minutes of all that worrying in my head, I picked my bag up and put it at my feet on the opposite side of me from the woman who had sat down and I decided to not worry about what she thought.  Yeah, me!

3. On Tuesday, I put on a fresh skort and shirt and took B to camp.  As soon as I got home, I changed into my grungies, got a pot roast in the oven and did a bunch of sweaty, dirty yard word.  I was still in my grungies when I picked up B because I hadn’t finished my yard work.  The next day I was getting dressed to take B to camp and the outfit I’d worn for all of 30 minutes the day before was hanging in the bathroom.  Wednesday was going to be a very hot day and a skort and sleeveless shirt would feel great!  But what would the other moms think when they saw me wearing the same outfit 2 days in a row?!  The fact that that thought went threw my head told me that I had to wear the outfit to get over worrying about what others thought of me.  And I wore it with pride!

4. I love to sing, especially when I’m alone in a car.  Windows rolled up, music blaring and me singing at the top of my lungs – it’s one of my happy places!  I recently came across my Barbra Streisand’s Greatest Hits CD (I think the hubs had hidden it from me!) and was happy to run some errands yesterday, just me and my CD!  However, gas was running really low in the truck and using the A/C burns it up faster.  Plus, it was a cool, cloudy day; no reason to use A/C.  What would people think of me, blaring Barbra Streisand, singing at the top of my lungs with the windows down, causing all kinds of noise pollution?!  Oh, I HAD to do it then!  There weren’t too many others on the road with their windows down, but there was always 1 or 2 next to me at each stop light.  LOL  There was a gentleman in a big, black pickup next to me, with his window down, while I was screaming along to “We’re Not Making Love Anymore”.  God bless him, he kept his eyes straight ahead!  At least he had a funny story to tell at the dinner table last night.  ;o)

There 4 exercises did my soul good and I’m so glad I did them!

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