Two years ago, I did a monthlong series called, 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years. I posted a new one every day during the month of July. It was fun, it was hard and, sometimes, it was embarrassing. But experience – the good, the bad and the ugly – can only help each other when we share it. A few months ago, I came up with another reason and jotted it down quickly to share later. I just found it, so I’m sharing now before I lose it again. 😉
There can be no hiding physically or emotionally. We have to be able to bare who we are to each other. We not only have to be comfortable enough to ask for what we want and need, we also have to accept and not judge each other for asking. We listen and then do – willingly.
The hubs shaved my legs when I could no longer reach them around my pregnant belly. When I get the stomach flu, and it’s coming out both ends, he comes into the bathroom with me, pulls my hair back into a ponytail, wipes my face with a wet cloth, holds a glass of water with a straw in it in front of my face so I can drink and have something to throw up instead of dry heaving. Granted, he pulls his undershirt up over his mouth and nose b/c it is not the sweetest smelling place to be right then, but he’s there. And I’m over worrying about him smelling my poop or seeing me at my worst.
He also tried to paint my toenails for me when I was pregnant, again because I could not reach them. It was such a struggle for his giant man hands to grasp the tiny nail polish brush and he ended up painting not only my nails but the entire top knuckle of each toe. But that’s OK! He tried, because I asked. Although he finally sent me to get a pedicure from a salon after seeing the job he did, that wasn’t his 1st response.
We are not afraid to ask for, or even demand, what we need from each other:
Don’t try to fix it, just listen to me.
Leave me alone right now.
Tell me I’m not screwing up our child.
Hand me that wrench.
For the love of all that is holy, pick up your (insert whatever it is they leave around).
What are you afraid to show your spouse? What are you afraid to ask of them? How would you react if they showed you their’s? How would you react if if they asked of you the same thing? Would you judge? Or would you marvel at the courage and strength it took for them to do that, accept them and love them even more for trusting you with it? Why not give them the opportunity to accept all of you?