Letting B Handle Disappointment

Last month, I posted here that B and I were going to start a craft club in our homeschool group for the older elementary-aged kids.  He and I have had so much fun looking for and pinning craft ideas!  Yesterday was the 1st craft club meeting and we were so excited.  I cleaned (and sweated) for 2.5 hours, printed out templates, gathered supplies, set up a name tag station (because I have the worst memory), B made our name tags, we stuck them on our shirts and we hung a “WELCOME CRAFTERS” sign on the mailbox at the curb so everyone would know which house we were.  Then, we eagerly awaited the arrival of our fellow crafters.

No one showed.  Even though I had received RSVPs, no one emailed or called to say they weren’t coming.  We moms are famous for committing to something and have every intention to go to the thing we’ve been waiting to go to and then the day of, all hell breaks loose in the house.  Someone’s sick, someone gets punished, a repairman needs to come to the house, there’s a family emergency, etc.  I get it, I’ve done it.  Life happens.  But I wish they’d have let us know.  At least the hubs was mighty grateful to come home to a clean house!  ;o)

B was so disappointed.  He’s a very sensitive kid and cries at the drop of a hat.  Has a history of crying over everything, just like his mama.  Although, I don’t throw myself down on the floor, gnashing my teeth, rending my garments and screaming while I cry.  I’d like to sometimes, but I don’t.  B has gotten much better, especially over the last year.  He doesn’t melt into puddles over every disappointment or every single thing that goes wrong now.  He can hold it together for about the 1st 17 times but when the 18th thing happens…puddles…gnashing…rending…etc.  But none of that happened yesterday.  He wore his emotions on his dejected face and was quiet (for once!), but no tears.  He asked to ride his bike, so we went outside.  We also played catch, basketball (I hate that sport) and golf.

I was the one trying to hold back tears, watching my boy silently keep it together, but knowing by his expression and hung head how he really felt.  Him being silent kinda freaked me out.  I wanted to do something for him to make up for it – take him bowling, to a movie or out for ice cream.  But I had to resist.  Disappointment is a huge part of life and life rarely hands out bowling, movie or ice cream consolation prizes.  I had to let him feel it, deal with it, learn from it.  It was one of those terribly hard, sucky parts of parenting that hurt my heart.  I’m tearing up right now, reliving it!

But kids bounce and my kid does not hold grudges.  His PopPop took him to his handwriting class this morning and they go out to lunch afterwards.  His Nana asked him how craft club went and he matter-of-factly told her no one showed and then wanted to confirm that he would be back in time for our weekly, group park outing this afternoon.  That boy teaches me so much.

2 Comments

  1. Julie says:

    Ugh, this is part of life, but geez, call or text or something, people. It's so hard when we can't even prepare our kids for a disappointment that is coming. So proud of B for handling this in a very mature way. That kid's got class!

    Like

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