SERIES: 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #25

#25 If you have kids, they have to know, by example, that they are not the center of your universe.  
(I can’t believe I am on my last week of reasons!)
We are a husband and wife, in addition to being parents, and the first is just as important as the second. We need time together without B, whether it be for a conversation, and evening out or an overnight away.  B’s wants cannot override needs of mine, the hubs’, the family’s or the home’s and we as adults make those decisions, decide on the priorities, not B.  How many times have you seen another family interacting and thought, “Just who is the parent here and who is the child?” or “Just who is in charge in that family?”
We adults need to charge our batteries by getting out by ourselves or as a couple.  Moms Night Outs and Dads Night Outs are great for that!  As well as making sure you and your partner go out on dates.
Here’s another, simple example.  Ben has struggled with interrupting people when he has something to say.  I have always made him wait his turn or until there was a break in my conversation to address him.  I ignored his…


…and hold up my index finger as a signal for him to wait.  Now, when he was 2 – 6 yrs old, that finger didn’t mean anything to him or didn’t stop him all the time, so sometimes I’d have to interrupt my conversation to tell him to wait.  But now, he gets it.  He’s now coming up to me or whomever he wants to talk to and stands there patiently until someone takes a breath.  ;o)  Or he starts talking and then realizes we are in the middle of something.  He’ll stop himself, say “Sorry” and wait until he is addressed.  We give him positive feedback for that!
When the hubs comes home for work, sometimes B and I compete for his attention.  We’re both happy to see him, we both have things to tell him and we have been known to attack him at the front door.  The hubs greets both of us and then tells B to wait a moment, hold your thoughts, I’ll be with you in one minute, but Mommy needs to talk to me first.  That’s a huge,important statement to be made to our child.  It wasn’t always the case, though…
Because I get all day with B and the hubs did not, he used to be in the habit of interrupting me and turning his attention to B when B wanted it or to discipline B.  Err, that annoyed me!  That showed B he was always more important than me.  The hubs wasn’t trying to undermine me or be rude, he just missed his boy and didn’t want B to feel like he was unimportant or being ignored.  Thankfully, the hubs was able to find balance and respect for all of us.  :o)
Don’t miss any posts in this series:
 
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #9
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #10
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #11
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #12
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #13
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #14
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #15
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #16
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #17
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #18
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #19
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #20
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #21
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #22
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #23
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #24
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #26
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #27
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #28
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #29
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #30
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #31

 

 

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