SERIES: 31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lated 17 Years, #16

#16: I had to learn to not fight dirty.
The hubs and I spent a lot of time bickering this weekend, so I figured it was time to put up another post about fighting.  And the funny thing is, the bickering we did all weekend was not your normal, “I want this and not the that that you want” or “I’m right and you’re wrong”.  We were arguing for each other, not ourselves, if that makes sense.   Here’s one example: we both had places to go at the same time on Saturday.  The truck has excellent A/C and the Volvo’s A/C only works sometimes, and even then it’s not very cool.  We each wanted the other to take the truck and be comfortably cool and got in a raised-voices-and-slamming-things argument about it!  “You take the truck!”  “NO!  You take the truck!”  LOL
As I’ve said a few times already in this series, I was a professional, down-and-dirty fighter when I got married and I learned how to be one at home, growing up.  Ugly, red face in his face; yelling; finger-shaking; stomping; slamming doors; breaking things; cussing, including saying “fuck you”; button-pushing; throwing issues in his face I had no business bringing up; and then, not letting him leave when he needed to get away from the raging bitch in the house and take a breath.  I don’t blame him for wanting to leave; I was a lunatic!  Who wants to be around that?  Plus, I was so good at button-pushing, that I started an anger in him he’d never felt nor let out before.  He wanted to leave before he got as mad as me because he’s twice my size and could snap me like a twig if he wanted to.  But when he tried to leave to let us both cool down, I blocked his way.  I’d fling myself against the door and lay on the guilt trip – “what if you have an accident?  What if you die and we never see each other again?  How do you think I’m going to feel knowing that these were out last words?  Let’s work this out and then you can leave!”  But all I really wanted was for him to stay long enough for me to get a rise out of him, get him to rage like I was doing, get from him what my mom was never able to get out of my dad.  Pretty sick, huh?

 

It’s a true testament to how much this man loves me that he stayed.  I would have walked out and never gone back if the roles were reversed!  But he told me this had to stop and a couple of times he actually showed me what happens when I push him too far.  Seeing that convinced me I had to grow up and stop this shit.  I’ll give you an example in another post later this month…
Don’t miss any posts in this series:
 
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #9
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #10
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #11
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #12
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #13
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #14
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #15
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #17
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #18
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #19
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #20
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #21
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #22
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #23
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #24
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #25
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #26
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #27
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #28
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #29
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #30
31 Reasons The Hubs and I Have Lasted 17 Years, #31

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