B has sensory processing issues – auditory and tactile. A challenge, yes, but all parents have to pay attention to their children, figure out what makes them “tick”, and those of us who are smart and value our sanity work with our children’s idiosyncrasies to find a balance. And I most certainly do not mean tiptoeing around my child or caving into his preferences or demands. But, just like any good manager at work, it’s in everyone’s best interest to find out what your charge’s strengths and weaknesses are, what motivates them and what shuts them down.
B has a low tolerance for loud noises (i.e. vacuums, blenders, flushing toilets, air hand dryers, loud TVs, lots of vocal children in one room) and certain pitches (i.e. the sound of his public school kindergarten teacher’s voice). He loves the feel of the wind on his face through the window of a moving car but can’t take the sound of said wind. So he has developed coping mechanisms for those times when his hearing or feeling senses are overwhelmed. He’ll invade other’s personal space by pressing up against, brushing up against or bear-hugging them (similar to the pressure that some on the autism spectrum need) or he’ll make noises to drown out the noise that is upsetting him (i.e. humming, singing, guttural noises in his throat or, as his kindergarten teacher so “eloquently” put it – “your son has Tourette Syndrome!”) I will not lie; B has had his “Whoop!” moments. The more I learn about B and how he ticks, the more I learn about myself and why I have acted/been like “me” for as long as I remember. Nature vs. Nurture is so fascinating to behold if you take the time to watch, realize and learn!
The hubs, also, has auditory “issues”. According to him, his older brother “purposefully” made loud noises at the dinner table – chewed with his mouth open and, basically, was disgusting in the hubs’ POV. His mother, also, was “noisy” while eating. It’s possible that he, too, has auditory processing disorder. We know he has learning disabilities, such as dyslexia, that are hereditary and that B has displayed. We all carry “issues” from our childhood into adulthood. And, if we’re lucky, we find a partner that we are comfortable with and can let our idiosyncrasies out of the box. The hubs cannot stand anyone making noise when they eat or drink. However, it is a fact of life! Even he makes noise but he believes he does not. Either he has auditory processing disorder or he is “scarred” from childhood.
Either way, he has to have a radio or the TV blaring when we share a meal to cover any noise of anyone eating besides him! But here’s the rub: B cannot handle the loud TV or radio and it upsets him. So he copes and soothes himself by making the same noises that irritate and set off the hubs! HOLY CRAP!!! I am caught in the middle of a vicious cycle that the two of them are creating, when the solution for both of them would solve the problem for each other! I had to abandoned my dinner tonight and go to different floor of the house, shut myself in a room and be in silence to maintain my own sanity. I am in auditory Hell!