I’m STILL Fuming

B and I had pizza for lunch on our afternoon out

So, there have been A LOT of changes around here and they are the reasons why I have not blogged in a while.  I apologize for that.  Hopefully as I, myself, get adjusted to the changes I will be able to work regular blogging back into my schedule.  So here’s the deal – after 6 years as a SAHM (stay at home mom), I have gone back to work full-time.  It’s quite an adjustment for all of us, to say the least, but I hope to post about that soon.  Right now, I want to get down what happened to us today before I forget.

I miss my B!  It’s been him and me, most hours in the day, for quite some time.  And since we started homeschooling in September 2010, it’s been even more together time.  I have completed 1.5 weeks of 7 weeks of training for my new job.  I am in training from 8:30am – 5pm, M-F.  Due to the location of my home and my job, I awake at 5am and return home at 6:30pm.  I wake B between 5:30-5:45am, drive to my parents’ house, drop off B and go to work.  Today I needed to run some errands to get some Christmas presents and supplies to make some Christmas presents and B decided to go with me.  We were both excited to spend more time together!

We were out for 5 1/2 hours and so enjoyed our time together.  Our 1st stop was to a friend of mine who owns Macy Girl Bowtique to buy a few hair bows.  While shopping for the little girl loves of my life, B asked if he could have a bow, too.  Since the hubs and I are those kinds of parents who refuse to go along with the double standards that girls can wear and do anything they want to do but boys have to adhere to specific colors, sports and preferences that society feels is acceptable, I let him pick out a hair accessory.  It was a hair clip with a ribbon Christmas tree on it, and B put it in his hair.

One of the stops we made later was to a local Joann Fabric and Craft Store.  I was purchasing fabric to make Christmas presents for those little girl loves of my life.  When it was my turn at the fabric cutting counter, I placed my bolts on the counter and let the employee know how much I needed of each.  As I did that, B was adjusted the Christmas tree bow in his hair.  The employee assisting us watched B doing this and then turned to me, pointed at B and said, with a disdainful look on her face, “Is it a boy or a girl?”  Taken aback by her boldness and the fact that she called my child an “IT”, I merely said, “He’s a boy.”  I have always wished I could immediately think of appropriate/snappy/witty comebacks to people who are rude or ignorant but, alas, I am so shocked by what some people have the nerve to say out loud that I am unable to respond in kind until I am no longer in their company.

The Joann’s employee cut the rest of my fabric and B and I headed to another aisle to select more items on our list.  Finally, B asked me, “Why did that lady ask if I was a boy or a girl?”  And here lies the title of my blog post, b/c as I type this, I start shaking and tearing up with anger all over again.  I took a deep breath and explained to B that she asked that question b/c she is one of those ignorant people who think that boys are only allowed to wear/think/act a certain way.  Therefore she believes that a boy should not wear a Christmas tree in his hair and instead of having the balls to say to a stranger and acustomer at her place of work that she disproves of a boy wearing a bow in his hair, she asked what sex he was.  I also told B that although I wanted to say something to her, there was no point in trying to get through such an ignorant and closed mind as hers so I didn’t even attempt it.  I asked him if she hurt his feelings.  “No,” he said, so I dropped the subject.  I did not want to make it a big deal to him.

But I really didn’t dropped the subject.  I contemplated asking to speak with a manager, but decided against it.  I am a crier.  I cry when I’m happy, I cry when I’m frustrated and I cry when I’m mad.  I did not want what this employee did to be discounted b/c I was emotional while speaking with the store manager.  So, instead, I came home and emailed headquarters about the experience I had at their store.  I’ll update you if I ever here back…


  1. Jess says:

    I just have to say that I feel SO much better now that I have emailed Joann and blogged about this. It is out "there" and no longer inside me so I can move forward and forget. :o)


  2. I too always wish I had the snappy comebacks immediately… I have only managed it once and it felt soooooooo good! But I digress… The thing I wanted to comment on is your joint parenting… I think my Hubs and I do great considering life's challenges, but he would NEVER stand for a "girls" bow in his boys hair. When I am alone with them, I will allow more diversity in their action, but he is steadfast. I don't think it's a bad thing, it is what it is… So gigantic, enormous, tremendous kudos to your Hubby or being so open-minded… The world needs more of that if we are ver going to arrive at equality and inclusion. And dont waste your tears on someone who will NEVER get it… even if you had the witty comeback!


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