Schweddy Balls

Have you seen the classic Saturday Night Live “Schweddy Balls” skit with Alec Baldwin?  If you haven’t, go here.  Do not read the article; just scroll down halfway and watch the video.  It is hilarious and one of the funniest SNL skits ever.  Go on, go watch it and then come right back here…we’ll wait…

Welcome back!  Was I right or was I right?  Hilarious!  Now, on with my blog…

I heard earlier this year that Ben & Jerry’s was coming out with a limited edition Schweddy Balls ice cream flavor for the holidays.  It brought back memories of that hilarious skit and I started giggling to myself.  Then I forgot about it, to tell you the truth.  I don’t venture into the ice cream aisle often and when I do, I go straight for the store brand section; I do not peruse the many flavors of all the brands in the aisle.  But then I saw the article that you just did not read online.  OK, now you can go back and read the article.  I’ll wait again; I am a patient woman…

Alright, now that we’re all on the same page, I’m going to give my opinion on this “controversy”.  After reading over half of the article, I was impassive.  There’s always someone who doesn’t like something and “wholesome” or “family valued” or “Christian” people and groups have been getting louder and more extreme over the last few years.  Nothing new there, and I was impressed with the attitude of Ben & Jerry’s regarding the issue.  I don’t know anything about the One Million Moms and I was not interested in finding out.

But I did start to care when Monica Cole, Director of One Million Moms, said that the group felt obligated to step forward and prevent Schweddy Balls from gracing grocery store shelves “…especially given that they (OMM) did not step forward with their concerns about its “Hubby Hubby” flavor, a play on its “Chubby Hubby” flavor and created to recognize same-sex marriages.”  I cannot STAND people who call themselves Christians yet quite publicly and loudly act anything but Christ-like towards their fellow human beings.  I have said it before – you don’t like same sex marriages?  Don’t get one!

Then this gem of a quote just sums up the ridiculousness of this organization’s efforts: “The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive.”  Maybe Mrs. Cole needs to read what she said a few times and then consult a dictionary before being interviewed again.  Here is the definition of vulgar, according to Dictionary.com:

vul·gar

[vuhl-ger]

adjective

1.characterized by ignorance of or lack of good breeding or taste: vulgar ostentation.
2.indecent; obscene; lewd: a vulgar work; a vulgar gesture.
3.crude; coarse; unrefined: a vulgar peasant.
4.of, pertaining to, or constituting the ordinary people in society: the vulgar masses.
5.current; popular; common: a vulgar success; vulgar beliefs.

And the word “taste” in #1 above has nothing to do with the buds in your mouth.  There is nothing “vulgar” about the new flavor of ice cream, Mrs. Cole.  Even if someone tasted it and did not like it, they could not properly use the word “vulgar” to convey that.  You are of the opinion that the name of the flavor is vulgar.  And now I have changed my impassive opinion about your stance on the issue.  I just looked up your site and see that in addition to bringing to light the “vulgarity” occurring in our local freezer sections, you are campaigning companies to pull their advertising during Dancing With The Stars because the show aired a definition of “transgender”.  There is nothing more I can nor need to say against you and your causes.  Your hatred, ignorance and misguided desire to keep future generations hateful and ignorant as well, speak for themselves.

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