Toilet Paper

There is a recent commercial out there with “real” moms talking the “truth” about toilet paper; talking about things that “no one else has talked about before”. <:-O Whatever. There is only so far a commercial is going to go when it talks about going to the bathroom b/c they would be worried about “controversy” or offending “family values” with potty talk. But I could care less, so I am going to talk about it b/c I am having a problem finding a toilet paper that meets all MY needs. You may be, too, but may not feel comfortable bringing it up in polite conversation. Y’all know I have no problem talking about just about anything, so here goes…

I have been trying out lots of toilet papers and have yet to find one that meets my needs up front as well as out back. There. I said it. When I find a paper that is strong enough to hold together and take care of business out back, it is too rough and chafes me up front. The papers that are soft and gentle enough on my front fall apart or shred when I need to take care of business out back.

You know what, it just dawned on me that although I have struggled with this issue and have been trying out all different brands, I have not once brought up this issue with my guys. After all, I am the only female living with 2 males. And since they only use TP for out back, I should consult them and see which one(s) they like best. As a side note, I am not pleased they only use TP out back. I think they should use at least ONE square up front to dab, but the hubs has passed on his habit to B of just flicking the penis like Indiana Jones’ whip to “shake off the excess”. *eye rolling*

I am starting to think that I am placing too much importance on the performance of a paper up front. I mean, to avoid any kind of chafing up front, I should just be dabbing, not wiping, right? That way, as long as I select a TP that gets the job done out back, I’ll be happy up front! *Oprah-light-bulb-moment* or, as the hubs CONSTANTLY says to me, “Talk your way through it, babe, talk your way through it…”

1 Comment

  1. Carol Amie says:

    you crack me up! I taught the 'dabbing square' technique to #1 here….as long as I was in charge of potty training, it was my way…but I will say it ended quickly once public peeing (school) began.


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